Mrs. Nose Builds Her Dream Closet

by longformphilly

sandra

Lisa DePaulo | Philadelphia Magazine | June 1988

Sandra Newman is leaning dangerously over a second-story balcony, waving her 20-carat diamond ring, and screaming, “Five!” to the auctioneer.

“But Saaaan-dra,” pleads Karl Krumholz, her decorator, “we don’t haveroomfor a brass bed.”

“I don’t care,” says Sandra Newman. “The bedding alone’s worth $500!”

It’s just another wild and crazy night with Sandra and Julius “Dr. Nose” Newman—and their decorator—this one at the March of Dimes gala furniture auction. Sandra, who’s dressed more like the March of Diamonds, simply has to buy something.

“ Six hundred!” calls the auctioneer. “Do I hear $650?”

“Six fifty!”

Karl puts his hand on his hip. “Saaaan-dra,” he whines, “where are we gonna put it?”

Karl Krumholz is Sandra’s and Julius’s date for the night. From the moment they hired him as interior designer of their new $4 million-plus home out in Gladwyne, he’s been in attendance whenever there was furniture to be bought.

“I suppose,” he says, “we could put it in the maid’s room.”

“Not a chance!” says Sandra. “I’m giving it to the kids. Jonathan and Nancy would love a brass bed. Seven fifty!” she shouts.

“Is she the cutest or what?” says her husband, as Sandra comes this close to tumbling over the balcony, champagne flute in one hand, extra-long More cigarette burning in the other. She’s wearing her usual 4-inch heels and a dress that’s half leopard miniskirt and half cleavage with black sequins. She may be 49, but all her husband, the much-hyped plastic surgeon, has ever had to fix was her nose. The rest is the original model.

“Do I hear nine?” asks the auctioneer.

“Nine!” shouts Sandra.

“Do I hear $950?”

“One thousand!” she yells.

Behind her, Dr. Nose bursts out laughing. “She just outbid herself!” he roars. “Did I tell you she was the cutest?”

“We got it!” says Sandra, dropping ashes on the floor. “Quick, honey! Call the kids! Tell them what we bought for them!”

“OK,” says Dr. Nose. “And don’t you worry, dear, a thousand sounds better than $900 anyway.”

Writer bio: Lisa DePaulo, a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania, is a freelance writer. DePaulo, who grew up outside Scranton, got her start at Philadelphia MagazineShe specializes in true crime stories and in-depth profiles, which have appeared in GQ, New York and Vanity Fair magazines, among many others.

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